I got a massage yesterday. I had been doing battle with a terrible charlie horse in my right calf, and the threat of a second in the left, so I was getting a massage at my usual place from my usual guy- a large Japanese man who has the friendliest face I’ve ever seen, soft, strong hands, and even less English than I have Japanese. I’d been sitting, engulfed in an oversized arm-chair for about fifteen minutes when I realized that, though I was relaxed, I had no recollection of anything that had happened. When did he move from my left foot to my right? Where was the hot towel that had been over my arms? I didn’t know. I had been so absorbed in my thoughts about the past several hours, ,days, weeks, months… My mind was as engulfed in the past as my body was in the chair.
And then I realized that this is exactly my problem. I spend so much time reviewing the past, contemplating the future- so much has happened in the last two years! And so much is coming my way!- that I miss now. Here I was, in the midst of a luxurious, pleasant experience, but I wasn’t taking in a moment of it.
Massages, enlightening conversations, waking up slowly on a Saturday morning, luxuriating in the warmth of the summer sun, the purr of my kitten-child, the laughter of a friend, the smile of my husband…how much have I seen and viscerally taken in, but never truly experienced? When was the last time I truly savored…well…anything?
Life is precious and short. I don’t want to miss anymore.
I have recorded snippets thus far- a snapshot posted to twitter, an observation every now and then on Facebook. But it is all done quickly, and so it fades quickly. I may post a meaningful quote today, but in weeks or months, when I review it, I rarely remember the circumstances- like remembering a vague, lingering hint of the taste of a delicious meal you can almost recollect, but not quite.
And so I will blog. A little electronic scrapbook of the lovely little things I discover on my journey.