I Was Right About The Monday’s! Also, I Want Mindy Kaling To Be My BFF.

I knew I was right about how difficult it is to write a grocery list let alone a real blog post or anything else other than nonsense syllables that sound like a Jazz singer’s improvised scatting on a Monday. Dup an dab bam boni schuop doop dop a de boo da ne do ba. (<< I worked all morning, and this is all I have to show for it. I was trying to update my resume, but whatever.) I’ve been reading Anne Lamott’s book about writing, Bird by Bird, and she feels strongly enough about Monday’s (and the month of December as well) to put it in the introduction.

“Monday’s are not good writing days. One has had all that freedom over the weekend, all that authenticity, all those dreamy dreams, and then your angry mute Slavic Uncle Monday arrives, and it is time to sit down at your desk. So I would simply recommend to the people in my workshops that they never start a large writing project on any Monday (in December). Why set yourself up for failure?”

I knew it! Even the genius that is Anne Lamott knows Monday’s are no good. I’m not sure why the angry mute uncle must be Slavic, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that she agrees with me. I win, Monday! You are officially the worst writing day ever! Bwahahahaha!

Achem. Moving on.

It’s apparently the year for funny ladies to write funny books: Tina Fey, Betty White, and now Mindy Kaling, writer and actor on The Office. My cup overfloweth with joy! I have laughed so hard I almost peed a little bit while reading three times now. All years should be this full of funny books. Now if Amy Poehler would write a book too my joy would be complete. (Amy, if you read this, I’m begging! I promise to buy at least five copies if you do! I’m sorry I can’t do more, I would offer to pay you to write it or something, but I’m only a middle-class blogger, not one of those fancy blogs with ads and contests and glitter and stuff.)

I read Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) in less than 24 hours, but I think that’s because it’s easy reading and not because I’m a speed reading genius. Actually, it’s probably because I was laughing hysterically and I couldn’t stop myself. To fully express my love and admiration, I have made a pliest. (Pliest is a word Mindy made up to mean “a piece with a list-y quality to it.”)

1. She makes up words.
2. She’s an obsessive list maker. (Me too, Mindy! I have lists of favorite baby names dating back 15 years! In middle school I had a list journal! I probably shouldn’t tell strangers this weird stuff about myself!)
3. She also has a great vocabulary, full of smart-people words, like behoove. My mom used to use that word all the time. She’d say things like. “It would behoove you to clean your room, otherwise I will behoove your back side.”
4. She’s really funny (obviously), and she’s come to terms with being a short girl who will never be a size two, which makes her either my twin or my hero. Or maybe both. (See what I did there? I can’t decide if I think I’m cute or vain and self-absorbed.)
5. She’s observant too: the women characters on romantic comedies would not be viable in real life, and Liz Lemon crying out of her mouth on 30Rock really is one of the best comedic moments ever.
6. Also, she has good ideas. I would totally watch a movie called Bananagrams 3D.
7. Plus, we have a bunch of stuff in common. I cry about stuff that normal people would not cry about, I hate comedy roasts too, and I also made my friends watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus in high school.
8. Gah! I can’t stand it anymore! Mindy, please be my best friend!!! I meet all your best friend criteria. And we both make lists and love shopping. We could be Mindy and Mandy. It could be a match made in heaven.

So in conclusion, Mindy’s books is super funny. If you liked Bossypants or are a fan of The Office, you will probably love it. And Mindy, if you ever read this, call me!

 

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